I have been making the last minute preparations for baby #3 to arrive and it has really got me to thinking...like alot.
OK, I think I have all the "stuff" I need, and ironically enough, the third go round you actually know what stuff you need and what stuff is just marketed to first time Moms to get in their wallets. Necessities? Newborn diapers, size 1 diapers, wipes, desitin, mylicon, gowns, pacifier, blankies, somewhere for baby to sleep (crib in my room), extra bottles in case nursing doesn't go as planned...check
Emotional stuff....hmmm...am I ready? I remember feeling the same way when I was expecting Lilly. I would hold Noah and play with him or watch a video or read a book, and when it was very very quiet the thought would hit me that it was very bittersweet. I would think...hmmm...it will not be like this again. No longer will it be just the two of us, and me be able to focus solely on the little boy who had become my best friend and constant companion for the last three and a half years of my life. I wondered if I was ready for that and more importantly I wondered if he was ready for that.
But little Lilly came right along and immediately my heart seemed like it doubled in size. Was there enough of me to go around, of course. There was more love for both of them every time I watched them together and thanked God for the blessing of my two healthy children. Sure there was less sleep, more laundry, and more times for me to be spread very thin but it has been a small price to pay for the joy that Lilly has brought to our family. Honestly it seems like since she's been with us always, the same way with Noah.
So occasionally I am going around the house and tending to one of the kids and I have that bittersweet thought of how it will never be just the three of us again. God willing, again, our family will grow, as my heart will, and our family will once more welcome a little person who will seem like she belonged with us from the start...and I am amazed and overwhelmed at how I ever got so blessed.
4 months ago