Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Finding out who "They" are

I'm linking up with Kelly's Korner (  I have never done this so we'll see how it goes.  However, she and some other mommy bloggers are doing a series that I feel passionate about so here goes.

The series this week is about playing with your kids.  As a mom of three, my playtime with my kids has evolved over the years.  The good Lord above saw fit to give me a sweet son as my first baby.  This was nine years ago.  I spend hours dreaming about the books we would read, the art projects we would do and the places we would go.  Fast forward a couple of years and I found out my rough and tumble boy wanted nothing to do with Mommy's quiet books and educational games.  What he did want was someone in the floor playing barn, tractors, cowboy, etc.  Then he wanted to be outside.  All the time, outside.  Hot, cold, dirty, wet.  He didn't care.  He thrived outside.  I'd never been an outside girl, but I learned how to be.  This experience taught me, as much as anything, that this little person was not a mini me.  He, however young, was a unique person who had preferences, likes and dislikes.  It was my job as a Mom to facilitate him to becoming who "he" was.  Not a recreation of myself in him.  That was a big lesson to learn.

Fast forward a few years and I've been blessed with two daughters.  At last, the time had come for quiet games and girly stuff.  Trust me, that happens.  But they also want to play dirt, mud, water, mess.  Is it from having a big brother?  Maybe, but maybe it's just the exposure to the world that they need to see it's a fun, huge, sometimes scary place.

I will be the very first to admit, sometimes I don't take the time to set aside play time with my kids.  I am focused on the house, the laundry, my business and when I get a free minute many days I want to sit down with a cup of coffee and a book.  Not a Barbie doll.  However, I realize, as much as I realize anything, that my time with these sweet people is limited.  There are a limited number of years when the most important request to them is to play Candyland with me.  I am still striving to learn to live in the moment.  The moments I have with them. 

As I thought about this series I thought back on my memories of playing with my mom.  My mom is outdoorsy.  She is active.  But guess what? My memories of playing with my mom are reading books for hours. My mom doesn't read much now.  We played school.  We played office.  We played "quiet" games that to me were loads of fun.  It has taken me 32 years to realize that she let me play what I wanted.  She was a young mom and didn't have access to "mommy blogs" to give her ideas about "centers" and "busy bags".  She took the cue from her child and went with what I wanted to do.  I can't recall anything elaborate or expensive toys.  But I can vividly remember spending hours playing with her and I never remember thinking she was bored or wanted "time to herself".  As a mom myself, I realize she probably did want time to herself and probably got tired of spending hours playing school.  But I never knew it.  I knew that I was loved and my mom was my best friend and wanted to play with me.

If I can give my three children any of these memories....then I will have done something right. 


Brandie said...

You're a wonderful mama Jess!!

Lil Light O Mine said...

this really challenged me. thank you for sharing.