One word...
Walmart...
Seriously it strikes fear into the hearts of mothers of toddlers...at least mothers of toddlers like Lilly.
Have I mentioned lately that Lilly is having a little um issue with temper tantrums? Well in case you missed it the girl has quite a temper. We've tried every trick in the book and to no avail she continues to have fits each and every single day. In the comfort of our own home I calmly step over her and go about my business...or she gets a spanking...or she gets a time out....really doesn't matter...she still throws the fits.
Fast forward to today. I HAD to go to
Walmart. We were out of milk, diapers,
detergent, you get the picture. I planned my trip spectacularly. I waited until Lilly had a good nap, a good lunch, plenty of playtime with Mommy and she was in a fairly good humor when we set off.
So when we arrive at
Walmart all my careful planning flies clear out the window going down Campbell Lane. We are no sooner in the door than my darling child starts wailing for stickers. OK a
walmart greeter two months ago happened to give Lilly a sticker and the child hasn't forgotten it. It was at a different
walmart and apparently the
campbell lane
walmart doesn't hand out aforementioned stickers. So the first round of tears ensues. We manage to get past that crisis and head down the aisles. We stop for our first purchase and a nice looking older lady is stopped in front of what we need. No problem, I
just wait for her to move. It took 3 seconds for Lilly to notice we had stopped moving and for her to yell at the poor lady "MOVE!!!" in her shrill two year old voice....the lady wheels around and gives Lilly a look and I just truck it on down the aisle...I'm pretty sure Travis can live without deodorant for another day.
Let's see....I am trying to pacify her to look at small books, little toys, whatever to get through the store and she proceeds to fling them out the side of the cart along with her pacifier. Which she then wails about because her
paci is in the floor.
Still we keep trucking. It's been oh maybe five minutes. I wheel around to the milk aisle and there is no way to keep Lil from spotting the giant
McDonalds. Doesn't matter that we just ate, Lilly wails for chicken. Fine...chicken if you will be quiet. Thank you
McDonalds for posting ten thousand signs about not having a cart in there so I have to
unhaul my two year old long enough to stand in line for a happy meal while she tries her best to climb the counter, carry other people's trays, etc. etc.
We finally get the happy meal which she then refuses to eat. She does however dutifully rip the top to her Sprite and proceed to fish the ice out. I just paid $4.00 for my child to eat ice through
walmart. Awesome...
Since Lil is not eating her happy meal, I reach in and get a french fry. She sees me and then cries some more. Oh yes, and then a nice lady tells Lilly how pretty she is with which Lilly responds by crossing her arms, sticking her lip out and yelling, "I not pretty!!!"
I'm pretty sure
Walmart frowns on using the belts in the
men's department to spank your child with, but the thought was beginning to cross my mind.
Finally thank goodness we manage to get to the checkout lines. You know the checkout lines at
Walmart where there are 900 people and two checkout lines open. We just pick one and stand there. Lil proceeds to unbuckle her seat, to stand up, to perch on top of the cart, to grab everything within reach...you get the picture.
Finally finally we get to leave the wretched
Walmart. Did I mention that trolling around
Walmart and the stress of temper tantrums nearly always sets off a round of annoying
Braxton-Hicks contractions? Yep, that's fun as well.
We then proceed 200 miles out to our parking spot. With Lilly kicking and screaming the whole way because she doesn't want to ride in the cart she wants to walk...except she pulled her shoes and socks off way back in the milk aisle....
And for the best part of today's story. Did anyone notice that it was 90 degrees today? Yep, and does everyone remember how hot a parked car gets while parked in the
walmart parking lot in the ninety degree sun, OK....
Lilly doesn't do well getting strapped into a
car seat on a good day, and today was NOT a good day. And try to strap a fit throwing sweaty screaming two year old into a car seat while the car is nice and hot and you get the picture. So then I commit the
Walmart sin of sins. I choose to not walk my cart a hundred miles down the aisle to put in back in the cart corral. Instead I choose to not fry my child and just push it securely up against a concrete light pole, it wasn't free-wielding down the street, it wasn't careening against other peoples cars, it was just not in the
corral.
Then a SOUR older man YELLS at me from across the line of cars and says," It goes over there, you NEED TO PUT YOUR CART UP."
I turn around and look at him blankly for a second, trying to register what he is saying. Oh did I mention he had also paused his cell phone conversation to point this out to me. After I come back to my senses, I did something fairly out of character for me, I yelled back, "I have a crying two year old in the 100 degree car! Would YOU like to watch her while I put this cart away?!?" I wanted to add on "Idiot," but I held back.
Seriously?!? Sir you have nothing better to do than instruct a 29 year old nearly 8 months pregnant frazzled out mother that she needs to put her cart back in the cart bin???? I then get in my car, crank the air up and do what any other stressed out mom does. I let the pregnancy hormones get the best of me and I cry all the way back to Brownsville.
The End
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