Sunday, February 7, 2010

Facebook...

OK so I have decided that facebook makes me feel uncool and completely inadequate. I have friends who post their status when they are leaving yoga and going to Nashvillle and meeting work friends at Starbucks. It all sounds great. If I was truthful about my status most of the time it would be

"I just changed a diaper and am getting ready to sweep goldfish cracker crumbs up from the floor."

I don't do Farmville and I don't really care who just found mystery eggs or a stray mongoose or built a barn.

I don't play Maffia wars because I think it's not cool to pretend to kill people and steal vehicles.

I don't care about my horoscope and my lucky numbers for the day and I certainly don't feel compelled to post my bra color to 300 people.

I also sometimes get confused as to what post I am replying to and have been known to post completely inappropriate comments on someone's status. Then I scurrry to delete it before anyone in cyberspace reads it and thinks I'm a jerk.

I also can't keep straight where I'm supposed to put updates. On my wall, on your wall, on news feed...what?!?

I then get alarmed when someone pokes me. What exactly does poking entail? I don't want to be poked in person and I find it offensive to poke someone else.

I also get lots of friend requests from people Travis went to school with who are looking for him. They send me messages to tell him this and tell him that. They tell me to tell him to get facebook already so they can keep up with what he's doing. I should really tell them I can tell them what he's doing in about 10 seconds. He's up to his ears as an engineer at At&T, he's raising 2 kids, and trying to keep the peace with his pregnant wife. Oh yeah, and he spends a considerable amount of time making fun of anyone who actually gets on facebook. (of course that's between enlightening anyone who will listen on why democrats are evil, why UK basketball rocks and why his world is incomplete when Nascar is not in season.)

I also feel guilty when I have to unfriend people because they repeatedly use words that my 6 year old will soon be able to sound out and I don't want him going to school saying he saw them on Mom's facebook.

I also feel guilty when I get friend requests from people who I don't have any idea who they are. I hate to ignore and I refuse to confirm...so they hang in facebook limbo and they taunt me every time that I sign in and there is a list of people whom I don't know where to file.

So in closing, facebook causes me stress. As if I didn't have enough. But alas, I will continue to get on it and waste time and try to think of status updates that make me sound not quite so boring.

Does facebook make anyone else feel this way. Perhaps we should start a support group or maybe soon it will be a diagnosed syndrome...

Ah facebook...my life was complicated enough without you...why must you torture me?

12 comments:

Heather said...

I loved reading this! I'm am completely with you on pretty much everything you said about it. I don't do all those extra "games" and "copy this and paste in your status" stuff. I have probably only "updated my status" a dozen times...I just like reading everyone else's:o)

Stephanie said...

If blogspot only had a "like" button:) The only thing I would add to your list is people posting things and me thinking "OMG did they realize everyone is reading that....Too much information!" I could give examples but I won't!

Can't wait to hear about your trip!

Carol said...

I'm with ya' Jess! I HATE all the games, the hugs, the gifts, etc. In fact, I think I've almost successfully "hidden" all those apps so they don't even show up on my news feed anymore.

Wanda May said...

Bout time you get your fanny back home....Hint on FB....don't accept apps. Block them....I do not do that either, love looking at pics....I hit like alot....and I DELETE nasty negative posters....

Sherri said...

I'm with you Jessica on all the games/gifts/etc!! I used to feel guilty and accept them but not anymore. I have no problem blocking the applications and not accepting friend invites of people I don't have a clue who they are even if they are "mutual friends" with 50 people that I do know. I know it could be my memory slipping from living away so long but if I don't remember them then I doubt we were that good of friends when I did live up there! I will say I do love FB though for being able to keep up with people two states away that I love dearly and had lost complete touch with. My visits up there are consumed with spending as much time with my immediate family/grandbabies as I can and it's just impossible to work others in, as much as I would love it. I'm getting close to deleting friends though that constantly have something negative to say or constantly trying to start something about politics or religion....I don't think FB is the place for that. Hang in there girl and I never find any thing you say, whether it is FB or your blog, as boring.....you always crack me up!!!! Glad you had a great trip!!

The Butlers said...

Love it!! No offense to my "farming" friends, but about all that was on my facebook news feed this weekend was "Could someone help me. I only need one harness, 5 boards, and 3 nails." What??? And totally agree with Stephanie too...do some people temporarily forget that EVERYBODY can read what they just wrote?
However, I do think that if you had only had time you could have had some really cool updates during your trip!! :)

Nan said...

Well, perhaps the most embarassing thing that has happened to me on facebook is that someone posted their mother in law had passed away and when I looked back at that post, I realized it said I "liked" it. I know it was just one of those freak incidents when the mouse pad of the laptop was TOO sensitive, as I would NEVER do anything like that. Needless to say, I felt like a complete loser, clicked unlike, and sent the gal a private comment "trying" to explain what had happened. I felt just awful! I do play a couple of the games, but try not to post all those things to jumble up peoples' homepages, and I don't accept any of those other apps anymore for fear of "catching" a virus :o)

Julie said...

Your posts always make me laugh, Jessica! I'm with Carol, I think I've successfully blocked all applications!

Katie said...

You make me laugh..I think you should be an author! You always have something interesting to say! I would LOVE to know how to block all that stuff.....I need fb for dummies I think!

Allie Bolton said...

Dan and I make fun of facebook and what we see on it everyday. However, we are avid users and partakers in the reckless crazy world of facebook. So.....until they create "Facebook Anonymous" then we will be seeing you on there, sis :) Love you!

Aimee said...

Jessica, this post cracks me up! I know exactly what you mean about all the gaming on fb...and my husband makes fun of it, too! Don't stress. Btw, I am usually sweeping up goldfish cracker crumbs, too...nothing too exciting and cool going on behind the scenes with me, either! lol

Brooke said...

Jess I love you! Soooo true. This week I bet I've deleted 35 "hugs" or "smiles" from people... It's crap! Can we not just be nosey and read everybody else's business and see their pictures without gettin smiled at, hugged or receiving a lonely goose? :)