Facebook...

OK so I have decided that facebook makes me feel uncool and completely inadequate. I have friends who post their status when they are leaving yoga and going to Nashvillle and meeting work friends at Starbucks. It all sounds great. If I was truthful about my status most of the time it would be

"I just changed a diaper and am getting ready to sweep goldfish cracker crumbs up from the floor."

I don't do Farmville and I don't really care who just found mystery eggs or a stray mongoose or built a barn.

I don't play Maffia wars because I think it's not cool to pretend to kill people and steal vehicles.

I don't care about my horoscope and my lucky numbers for the day and I certainly don't feel compelled to post my bra color to 300 people.

I also sometimes get confused as to what post I am replying to and have been known to post completely inappropriate comments on someone's status. Then I scurrry to delete it before anyone in cyberspace reads it and thinks I'm a jerk.

I also can't keep straight where I'm supposed to put updates. On my wall, on your wall, on news feed...what?!?

I then get alarmed when someone pokes me. What exactly does poking entail? I don't want to be poked in person and I find it offensive to poke someone else.

I also get lots of friend requests from people Travis went to school with who are looking for him. They send me messages to tell him this and tell him that. They tell me to tell him to get facebook already so they can keep up with what he's doing. I should really tell them I can tell them what he's doing in about 10 seconds. He's up to his ears as an engineer at At&T, he's raising 2 kids, and trying to keep the peace with his pregnant wife. Oh yeah, and he spends a considerable amount of time making fun of anyone who actually gets on facebook. (of course that's between enlightening anyone who will listen on why democrats are evil, why UK basketball rocks and why his world is incomplete when Nascar is not in season.)

I also feel guilty when I have to unfriend people because they repeatedly use words that my 6 year old will soon be able to sound out and I don't want him going to school saying he saw them on Mom's facebook.

I also feel guilty when I get friend requests from people who I don't have any idea who they are. I hate to ignore and I refuse to confirm...so they hang in facebook limbo and they taunt me every time that I sign in and there is a list of people whom I don't know where to file.

So in closing, facebook causes me stress. As if I didn't have enough. But alas, I will continue to get on it and waste time and try to think of status updates that make me sound not quite so boring.

Does facebook make anyone else feel this way. Perhaps we should start a support group or maybe soon it will be a diagnosed syndrome...

Ah facebook...my life was complicated enough without you...why must you torture me?